


Sweet Like Candy

by aeriie



Category: My Candy Love
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:20:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 21,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29080788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeriie/pseuds/aeriie
Summary: A collection of My Candy Love drabbles.
Relationships: Candy/Castiel (My Candy Love), Candy/Lysander (My Candy Love), Candy/Nathaniel (My Candy Love), Candy/Rayan (My Candy Love)
Kudos: 24





	1. Candy x Lysander

The night air breezes across my skin, ruffling the hair around my shoulders. There’s still the hint of winter chill lingering in the air, but it’s not enough to bother me.

  
Especially not in this place.

  
My legs swing back and forth, crossed at the ankle. This is my favorite place to sit and relax, the swinging love-seat on the porch, with nothing but fields and open sky in front of me.

  
It’s easier to breathe out here on the farm. Easier to think too. Our days are filled with breezy mornings working among the animals and crops, soaking in the sunshine, and balmy afternoons spent on this very porch.

  
Lysander works on his novel most days, while I paint, or sketch, or create anything my heart persuades me to. There’s a kind of freedom here that I’ve never felt before. We take inspiration from the simplest things. A pair of dreamers searching for beauty in the world around us.

  
And there are so many beautiful things in this place. The garden out back, just starting to come alive with the arrival of spring, the scent of peonies and roses and jasmine drifting through the open windows each morning. The fireflies that dance over the pond every evening, eventually making way for the frogs who sing their nightly symphonies atop the lily-pads.

  
The squeak of the front door turns my head, and Lysander steps onto the porch, a mug in each hand. His hair is shorter then it used to be, cut that way to keep the strands off his neck while he’s working. He hands one of the mugs to me and I take it gratefully, inhaling the scent of peppermint tea and breathing deeply.

  
The seat swings when he sits down, and I giggle as he presses a kiss against my nose, and drapes a blanket around our shoulders with his free hand. He takes in a deep breath, releasing it in a quiet sigh as he stares out into the night, his mug balanced between his hands. I know what he thinks of on nights like these. How he misses his family, and his friends.

  
His brother Leigh, and Rosalya visit us when they can, but they’re often busy - Rosa with her studies and Leigh with his shop. Castiel drops by whenever he’s in town, which brings a smile to Lysanders face that I’ve never seen anyone else manage, not even me. Lys is proud of him. We both are.

  
I take a sip of warm tea and sneak a look at him over the rim of my mug. All sharp jaw and straight nose. He’s never looked so handsome in any other light then that of the stars. And there are many of those. His eyes are tired, as is the rest of him, I can tell. But there’s a happiness there. A quiet sense of peace.

  
I bite down on my lip as I watch him. Sometimes it’s scary, how much I love him. And I know he feels it too. He’s known loss, and pain, and he’s ended up stronger because of it. He’s keeping his family’s dream alive, and that’s what keeps him going.

  
“Do you miss the city?” he asks after a heartbeat, his voice soft, and my breath stumbles.

  
I know that he’s afraid that this isn’t the life I wanted. That I might have had other plans that didn’t involve the open air, and this beautiful place, and _him_. But the truth is that he is the only thing I’ve ever been sure about wanting.

  
I take his hand in mine. It’s rough from the hard work, but still gentle. Always gentle. When he looks at me, I know the answer in my heart, most of all.

  
“No. I have everything I need here.” I squeeze his hand gently, and he smiles in that way that leaves me breathless, even to this day.

  
“And besides…” I curl up against him, my head on his shoulder and his lips against my hair as we watch the sky.

  
“I’ve never seen so many stars.”


	2. Candy x Lysander 2

He’s back.

  
The two words echo in my head, over and over.

  
_He’s back. He’s back. He’s back.  
_

_  
_ Standing in the street, in front of his new apartment building, I let out a deep breath, letting the cool January winds claim it. He’d sent me his address this morning, asking me to come visit his new place after classes.

  
And I wanted to. _So badly._ So why am I shaking so much? Why do my feet feel _so_ heavy?

  
When I had seen him at Christmas, it was like a dream. One I expected to wake up from at any moment. When I didn’t, I realized it could be the end to this nightmare. The one where he was gone, alone, _lost.  
_

_  
_ _The one where I was so empty.  
_

_  
_ I press the buzzer for his floor, and my heart stutters at the sound of his voice in the speaker, as if I’m still expecting none of this to be real. A figment of my imagination. A waking dream.

  
“Hi, come on up.”

  
In the past, I hadn’t let myself imagine what it would be like to see him again, to hear his voice, to touch his skin. Now, it’s all I ever think about.

  
Taking each step of the stairs, one by one, I clasp my hands together to keep them from shaking. When I knock on his door he opens it with a soft smile, and my stomach flips nervously. He looks good. Better than I ever remembered.

  
“It’s good to see you,” he kisses me on the cheek, his skin warm against mine. “Come in.”

  
Entering the apartment slowly, I take advantage of the time to look around. It looks so much like him. Elegant, but homely. Modern decor mixed in with the odd Victorian inspired pieces.

  
There are pictures everywhere; on the walls, over each surface. His parents, him and Iris on the farm, pictures of him and Leigh as boys.

  
_Memories.  
_

_  
_ A large wooden desk captures my attention, and as I move closer I stumble across a picture that is so hauntingly familiar, the memory hits me like a brick wall. The two of us, smiling into the camera, his arms around me and a corsage around my wrist. It was the night of our prom. We look so happy. _We were happy.  
_

_  
_ “Why are you crying?”

  
Sniffling, I wipe the tears away with the back of my hand. I hadn’t even noticed they were there until he said it.

  
“I still can’t believe you’re here.” My voice is small, and when I wrap my arms around myself the tears fall again. I could stop them, I suppose. But I decide not to.

  
Somehow, this feels like a trick. Like I’ll wake up and this will all be snatched away in an instant. If the tears are already there, then there’s no reason to cry again. 

  
“I can hardly believe it myself.” Lysander comes up behind me, his breath warm and soft on my hair. “Leaving the farm was… I suppose the second hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

  
“And the first?” I turn to look at him, letting him circle his arms around me as my eyes meet green and gold, and I fall in exactly the same way I used to.

  
_Leaving you.”  
_

_  
_ “Lys, I-” His lips are on mine before I can even finish my sentence. _What was I going to say anyway?_ I don’t remember now… all I know is the feel of his lips, and his fingers on the side of my face and the stuttered, dizzy beat of my heart in my chest.

  
My hands slide over his shoulders, fingers threading behind his neck, up into impossibly soft, silver hair.

  
“I’m not leaving,” he says softly between kisses, stroking my lower lip with his thumb. “Not again. I promise.”

  
Smiling against his lips, I let myself believe it for the first time. It’s a scary thing, to have hope. It can crush you in an instant, leaving you in pieces. But I’ve been afraid for too long.

  
We had broken up during a tragedy. Not because we didn’t love each other, but because we did. We didn’t want to break each others hearts, so we broke our own instead.  
  
  
His shirt comes off first, and my fingers run over the ink covering his chest, curling over his arms. When my dress hits the ground his eyes devour me, remembering every freckle, every scar.  
  
  
Pressed down into the softest sheets, skin on skin, all of the doubt finally melts away and I _know_ this isn’t a dream.  
  
  
He’s real. He’s mine. _And he always has been._


	3. Candy x Castiel

_We need to talk._  
  
That’s how it started. Those four _fucking_ words, stemmed from frustration, and exhaustion, and just missing him so damn much it hurt.  
  
And I don’t know what’s worse. That I had said them, or that he’d agreed.  
  
He was always in different places, different cities. Sometimes I wouldn’t hear from him for days on end, and as happy as I was for him and his band, it took a toll on us.  
  
 _Anger, jealousy, doubt._  
  
When we did speak, we argued. When we saw each other, so rarely, we still argued. Until it was so sadistically normal that it almost became a chore to make that phone call, to send that text.   
  
Eventually there were no more of those lovely three words. _I love you. I miss you. I need you_. Only the dreaded _‘we need to talk’_.   
  
And then, the worst four words of all.  
 _  
We should break up._

*  
  
We’ve taken a couple of days to think things over, but the time doesn’t help. I’m still as torn as ever. _I love him_. That’s the one thing I’ve always, _always_ been sure of. But we’re hurting each other… we have been for far too long.  
  
So here I lay, staring up at the ceiling, counting the minutes and hours and seconds through the night until I can stop pretending that I’m going to get any sleep. I know what I have to do, it’s just…   
  
I don’t want to do it.  
  
My phone rings, fluorescent screen lighting up the darkness of my room as I grab it off the nightstand.  
  
 _It’s 2am, who the hell is calling me?_  
  
My heart stops when his name flashes on the screen and I hold my breath, tapping the green button to answer.  
  
“Castiel?”  
  
“Candy,” he says, and for a moment I panic. What if something’s happened?  
  
“We need to talk. Now _._ ”  
  
“But it’s-  
  
“Shut up, okay?” He slurs, and for the first time I realize there’s something off about him. “Just… just listen to me. Please.”  
  
I shut my mouth, but I’m hesitant. He sounds like he’s been drinking, something he doesn’t do often, and my better judgment is telling me we shouldn’t be having this conversation. That it will only make things worse.

“Candy, I just… I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to lose you. _I can’t_ ,” his voice is strange, slow and emotional, and my hands are shaking, my tongue sitting heavy in my mouth, uselessly weighed down with the words I can’t say.

_I don’t want to lose you, either._  
  
“This is ridiculous… I love you. I fucking love you!” I can hear his tears even through the phone, and it breaks my heart. “Baby, why are we doing this to each other? Don’t do this to me.”  
  
“Cas… are you drunk?”  
  
“So what if I am? I still know what I want,” he says coldly, and it’s obvious now. He’s not just drunk, he’s _obliterated_. “Can you say the same?”  
  
“I-”

I don’t know what to say, because yes, I do know what I want. I want him, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. But I know I can’t have him.  
  
“I’ll do anything. Quit the band, move to your town. _Anything_. Just please… _please_ … Candy, give this another chance.”  
  
His voice is so desperate that I want to. I want to give him, and us, every chance in the world. But I already have, and it didn’t work. _It didn’t work._  
  
“I can’t. Castiel, _you_ can’t,” I’m crying now. Warm tears spilling fast and hot down my skin. “You have a career, and a dream. I won’t let you throw that away for me.”  
  
Silence. One that seems to stretch on forever. One that makes me begin to doubt _everything._  
  
“Why do you have to be right…” he says finally, his voice so small, so broken. “I don’t want you to be right. Not this time.”  
  
I take in a breath, letting it out as quietly as I can. This isn’t the time to be doing this. Steeling my voice, I speak into the phone.  
  
“Get some sleep, okay? I’ll call you in the morning.”  
  
A pause. A silence so loud that my ears ring and my heart skitters painfully in my chest.  
  
‘Yeah. Night.“ He hangs up without another word. I already knew I wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight. This certainly doesn’t change anything.  
  
The sun rises finally, after a night that seemed to stretch on forever, but I wait. Hesitating. He was drunk, he’s probably still paying for it.  
  
Heart pounding, pulse racing. I tap his name in my phone, letting out a shaky exhale as I press it to my ear.  
  
I’ve done this a million times before. Calls, video chats, text messages. I can’t let myself linger over the fact that this time could be the last.  
  
“Candy,” Castiel answers, his voice raspy and thick with sleep.  
  
“Hey, Cas,” I breathe, grateful that he answered at least. “How are you feeling?”  
  
“Just peachy,’ he says with a groan that sounds anything but.

I take in a breath, preparing for the conversation ahead. "About last night-”  
  
“Look, I barely remember it, but I’m sure I made a complete ass of myself.”  
  
“You didn’t.”  
  
He lets out a laugh, but it’s hollow. No warmth, no love.  
  
“You were right, Candy. This isn’t working. It’s best if we just… end it.”  
  
I didn’t expect it to crush me as much as it does. It’s a good thing he continues speaking, because I wouldn’t know how to even if I tried.  
  
“The band and I are going overseas next week, I don’t know for how long,” he says, his voice heavy and deep. “I… I’m sorry it had to end this way.”  
  
My voice is so small when it comes out, so defeated that I hardly expect him to hear it at all.  
  
 _“Me too…’_  
  
I can’t say anymore. I wish I could, but I just… _can’t_. There’s a heavy sigh on his end, and a pause before he speaks again.  
  
"Goodbye, little girl.”  
  
The phone goes dead, silent, and a numbness creeps through my veins, replacing everything I’ve ever felt for him.  
  
 _Goodbye._  
  
*  
  
It’s been six months. Whoever said it gets easier with time was a fucking liar.  
  
Because in reality, it gets worse. _So much worse._  
  
And I’ve spent so many days waiting.  
  
Waiting, and hoping, and hating myself for it. Hating that I can’t let go. Letting the thought of him torture me over and over until I’m sick with my own overthinking.  
  
What if we had tried harder? What if I had stayed in town, made different choices, put him first? What then?  
  
The simple truth is that it might not have made any difference. Perhaps we were never meant to be. Never meant to put each other first. It was obvious we were never going to let the other do that.  
  
Still I wait, and it’s a dangerous thing. Waiting for the call that never comes. Waiting for the shock of red hair to show up at my door.  
 _  
Waiting, waiting, waiting._  
  
I’ve never felt lonelier in my life.  
  
“Baby, come back to bed.”  
  
There’s someone else in my bed now. This is the second night we’ve spent together and I can’t even remember his name. Because no matter how much time passes, only one still haunts my mind.  
  
 _Castiel._  
  
*  
Four years since I’ve been in this town, and when i’m wandering along the main strip, towards the Snake Room, I steel myself against the memories. Because everywhere I look, there are memories of him.  
  
It doesn’t hurt anymore. I’ve reconnected with old friends, and made new ones. I’ve excelled in my studies, and mapped out my career. And there’s someone else. Someone with golden hair and golden eyes who has sparked something in me that was dead and dormant for so long.  
  
I’m still scared… scared to let anyone in, knowing how much it hurts when it all goes wrong. But despite that, for the first time in a long time I’m excited for the future.  
  
 _It doesn’t hurt anymore…_  
  
Until I see him in that bar, up on that stage, singing in that way that soothed my heart and ignited my soul all those years ago.  
  
 _It doesn’t hurt…_  
  
Until his fingers are around my wrist in a crowd full of strangers, and he’s looking at me through eyes that are so distant, so cold they chill me down to the bone.  
  
 _It doesn’t hurt…_  
  
Until I’m back in my dorm room, replaying every look, _every word_ , over and over until my heart is split and my eyes are swollen and my face is stained with heartbroken tears.  
  
And it hurts.  
 _  
It still hurts._


	4. Candy x Castiel 2

“Hey,” I catch her by the arm, dragging her back towards me as I look her up and down in a gesture of obvious disapproval.

My eyebrows raise at the way she narrows her eyes at me, as if she doesn’t know _exactly_ what I’m going to say. The dress she’s wearing barely covers the plump curve of her ass, and although my groin aches at the sight of it, something territorial sparks in me.

“Can I help you, Castiel?” She clicks her tongue at me impatiently, but she doesn’t pull away.

_Smartass._

“You’re not going out in that outfit.”

It’s her turn to look me over now, and she licks her lips as she does so, as if deciding exactly _how far_ she wants to push me.

“Says who?”

“Says me.”

I’m well aware of the rasp in my voice, the unforgiving push for obedience.

She rolls her eyes, stalking straight out of the apartment and I swear under my breath, hurrying to lock the door and catch up with her.

I reach her just as the elevator opens with a _ding_ and she slips inside, her eyes liquid fire as she trains them on anything but me. But instead of pressing ‘down’ on the control panel, as I had expected, she hits a button to go _up._

My eyebrows quirk at her curiously, almost skeptically, but she says nothing, _does nothing_ , doesn’t even look at me. That alone is enough to drive me crazy.

She exits the elevator and I follow behind her, confused out of my mind, but also quietly loving the mystery of it all. It takes a short flight of stairs to get onto the roof, and once we reach it my heart stops, shuts down, suspended in time and space.

City lights, stretched as far as I can see, illuminate the darkness of the night. Time seems to slow somehow, seconds stretch forever under the beauty of the city and I berate myself for never taking the time to marvel over such sights. For always living my life too fast, too hard.

When I turn to her, she has that smile on her face. The one that makes me want to kiss her and _spank_ her all at the same time.

“I thought you could use a break,” she says candidly, her eyes raking over me in a slow caress.

How is it that she always, _always_ knows what I need? Even when I don’t even know it myself.

“And the party?”

“There will be others.”

She’s right, of course. There will always be another party. Another meet and greet. Another public event. My head aches at the mere thought of them all.

I step towards her, a decidedly predatory glint to my eye. I feel warm all over, despite the chill of the twenty floor tower, and she looks so goddamn _edible_ in that outfit that I can’t stop myself.

When I slip an arm around her waist she pushes me back, crooks an eyebrow, _denies me._

“Don’t make me take you home and punish you.” The growl that escapes me is harsher than I intended, some savage urge in me rising like bile in my throat.

It takes a moment or two, but eventually she closes the distance between us, runs a hand over my chest as her nose nuzzles the underside of my jaw, _teasing._

“Who said we need to go home to do that?”

A low, guttural sound escapes me as I push her against the wall of the roof access, and she lets out a surprised gasp when my mouth sinks into hers.

I wonder vaguely if anyone in the neighboring buildings can see us, and then decide just as quickly that I don’t care. That for one night, I care about nothing but the feel of the woman beneath my hands, about the way she sighs and pants as my fingers slip under that _offensively_ short dress of hers, as my lips trail over her satin skin.

Pants down, dress up, skin against skin and her leg hitched up around my waist.

She gasps my name through the darkness, the sound of it like a prayer on her lips, a desperate plea for more, _more._

I obey her every stuttered wish, hips pitched against hers until her pupils blow wide and she comes undone with the sweetest sounds I’ve ever heard tumbling from her lips.

_She’s not going out in that goddamn outfit,_ I think again as she pulls down the hem of her dress, adjusts herself so it doesn’t look like we just fucked on the roof of a building, under stars and city lights.

_She’s coming home with me._


	5. Candy x Castiel 3

Steam curls around my body, a cocoon of dewy warmth on my skin, my fingertips leaving clear trails of moisture on the shower glass.  
  
  
A kiss on my shoulder, on my neck. The sound of him moaning my name against my skin.  
  
  
 _"Candy, fuck…”  
  
  
_ Castiel pulls out and spins me to face him, his eyes dark and wanting, his lips curled into the most delicious grin.   
  
  
“Let me look at you, beautiful,” he props an arm under my leg before he thrusts his hardened length into me with a groan and my head leans back against the glass, rattling the shower walls with his erratic movements.  
  
  
His mouth comes down over mine, hot and wet, and when his tongue enters my mouth I whimper. I don’t think about how much I missed him, or how much it broke me when it ended.  
  
  
The only thought that manages to half-manifest itself in my mind is the feeling of him inside me, his hard muscles tensing against mine, the way the water drips and trails over the midnight ink on his skin.  
  
  
Fingertips squeak on the glass as he steadies himself, kissing me in a frenzy, lips tracing over my jaw, my throat, my neck.   
  
  
His hands grip my ass, pulling me tighter, harder against him, and _I’m so close_ ,only a few seconds more and I’ll…  
  
  
All of a sudden my body is too warm, and my pleasure rushes me with a wave of ecstasy so strong I have to bury my face in his shoulder to muffle my scream. My body tightens, clenches around him, and I feel him come undone before I hear it.  
  
  
He growls against my throat as he reaches his climax, and then his lips find mine again and he’s breathing my name against my mouth, worshiping the very sound of it on his tongue as the last of his pleasure ebbs.


	6. Candy x Castiel 4

Saturday night, and I find myself being talked into another of my best friends last-minute plans. I should really be studying - no, I _need_ to be studying - but when Rosalya gets her mind set on something, not even the threat of academic failure can stop her.  
  
The party itself is fine, though Alexy has disappeared into some dark corner with his boyfriend and Rosa and her university friends are too busy psycho-analysing each other to remember that I’m not actually in any of their classes.  
  
Parties never really were my thing, anyway. Too loud, too busy. There are _plenty_ of things I’d rather be doing.  
  
So I’d decided to explore instead. There’s no denying the house is beautiful. _And big_. All plush, cream carpet and ivory pillars. I can see why Rosa’s pal would rather stay here then on campus.  
  
I’ve made it to the second level, peeking my head into various rooms, when I spot a familiar red-head at the end of the hallway pacing towards me.  
  
 _So, he_ is _back in town._  
  
“Candy…” he says in greeting as he approaches, though I try my best to ignore him. Our last meeting had been less than friendly, after his bands performance at the Snake Room. I don’t need a repeat.  
  
“Rosa said you’d be around here somewhere.”  
  
I turn on the spot, heading back in the direction I came from. There is nothing in the world that could make me speak to this man. I would’ve been happy to make my swift exit had the sound of heavy footsteps and a hand on my arm not stopped me.  
  
“So what, you don’t have time for an old friend?” He asks, cocking a dark eyebrow.  
  
“I could say the same to you,” I spit back, mentally slapping myself. He always had a way of baiting me, of coaxing me to play, even when I don’t want to.  
  
But I refuse to fall into it now.  
  
I narrow my eyes at him, though he towers over me considerably. He’s taller than I remember. His hair longer and his jaw sharper. The grey tee he wears fits him in _all the right places, and I_ … I snap my eyes back to his to avoid them lingering anywhere they shouldn’t.  
  
“I’m sorry about the bar,” he says, not sounding sorry at all. “With all the fans around it… it’s a weird feeling.”  
  
I let out a huff of air, pulling my arm away from him, refusing to believe any of the bullshit that comes out of his mouth. “I’m not talking about _the bar_ , Cas.”  
  
When my ex-boyfriend, Lysander, broke up with me a few years ago, Castiel disappeared too. I get that they were best friends and all, that there were sides to take. But although it would pain me to admit it to him, I actually missed his smart mouth and sly remarks.  
  
It’s true that Castiel and I had never gotten along much. We fought, and swore, and generally got on each others nerves. But at least it was real. It was familiar. Lysander never seemed to mind our bickering. In fact, I think it kind of amused him.  
  
I try to move past him, but he blocks me by shooting an arm against the wall.  
  
“Hey, would you just listen to me for a minute.”  
  
He’s annoyed. I can tell by the way his jaw tightens, how his eyes go hard. Still, I can’t stop myself from pushing his buttons.  
  
 _“Make me.”_  
  
“Alright.”  
  
All of a sudden he’s pinning me against the wall, an arm above my head and his face half an inch from mine. He smells like whiskey and musk, and it makes my head spin.  
  
“Do I have your attention now?” He growls, and I sneer at him, thoroughly pissed off by the lack of room to move as his other hand holds me in place by my waist.  
  
 _“What do you want_ , Castiel?”  
  
“I want to speak to you. See if you’re okay. I never got to talk with you after everything that happened with Lys.”  
  
I roll my eyes, letting out a bitter laugh and trying to mask how unnerving it is, him being this close. My heart beats against my chest relentlessly, though I will it to settle.  
  
“Why do you care?”  
  
“Why wouldn’t I?”  
  
“We were never friends. We only put up with each other for Lysanders sake.”  
  
“That’s a _goddamn lie_ and you know it.”  
  
His shoulders tighten, his grip on my waist squeezing with the tension, and I can’t stop myself from staring into those stormy eyes. One of us has to break first, and it won’t be me.  
  
It had always been like this, though usually we had Lysander to calm the storm between us. _But Lysander’s not here anymore._  
  
“What are you doing here.”  
  
It’s not a question that slips past my lips. More like an accusation.  
  
“I came with a friend…” The glint in his eye makes me instantly realise this friend is of the female persuasion. His lips quirk ever so slightly at the way my eyes narrow.  
  
Our gazes are fixed. The air between us so electric it could ignite with a single word.  
  
“Go and bother her then.” I hiss, and he lets out a dark chuckle, his knee pushing between my legs. _Teasing, taunting, suggesting…_  
  
“I’d rather bother _you._ ”  
  
I’m trapped in place, both by his leg between mine and the feeling that even though he pains me more the anyone else, I don’t want to leave.  
  
I’m not quite sure what to do when his lips crash against mine, but I let out a surprised sound in the back of my throat. My fight reflexes kick in instantly, making me pull back and send a resounding slap across his face.  
  
He doesn’t look surprised. In fact, I think he might have been expecting it. His mouth merely quirks at the corner before he kisses me again, and any protests I may have had die on my lips. All sense leaves my head. All air leaves my chest.  
  
 _What the hell am I doing? I can’t be kissing Cas like this, but… oh my god… when he touches me there, I just…  
_  
A stuttered breath escapes me as he nips my bottom lip, running his tongue over the same spot a second later before devouring me again, and I melt into him.  
  
His body is hard against mine, one hand behind my neck, the other on the side of my face, and although his lips are leaving my head spinning, I’m well aware of just how many people are at this party, and of who could walk up those stairs whenever they wanted…  
  
I can’t let Rosa see this, she’d murder me.  
  
I reach for the nearest door handle, jiggling it open and letting Castiel press me through the doorway into the room.  
  
We don’t make it far before he has me pinned against the back of the door, my hands dragging through his scarlet hair as he takes me by the back of the thighs, lifting and pinning me between him and the wall.  
  
It’s only now, with my legs around his waist, that I can feel exactly _how much_ he wants this. I grind against him, eliciting a low, guttural groan of pleasure, as the heat pools low in my stomach.  
  
“I hope you know… this is a one time thing,” I breathe, his lips moving against my neck in a way that makes me sigh through my words.  
  
“You’ve always had a thing for me.” He growls against my skin, his breath jagged. “Just admit I’m right.”  
  
When his hand moves under my slinky top, running over the curve of my breast, I suck in a sharp lungful of air. “What I’ll admit is you were always an arrogant prick. You still are.”  
  
He rolls his hips against me and I shudder, his voice so low it sends shivers down my spine.  
  
 _“You fucking love it.”_  
  
His lips crash against mine again and before I know it, he’s pushing me down on the bed. I know we shouldn’t be doing this. It’s so wrong. Lysander would be devastated if he knew.  
  
 _It’s been four years_ , I have to tell myself, _and he’s the one who pushed me away_.  
  
Castiel hovers over me, one knee pushing between my legs to gain access. I don’t stop him, and when he kisses me hard I push up against him harder, needing to feel some kind of friction between my legs. I can’t deny that I’ve thought about this before, wondered what it would be like. He is raging fire where Lysander was always warm earth, and _I want him to consume me._  
  
A low moan escapes me as his lips move lower, down my neck where he bites and sucks my skin until it’s raw. He isn’t gentle, and _God_ I don’t want him to be.  
  
When he pulls me up into his lap I can feel his hardness pressing into me, and my core melts for him. My skirt is pushed up so far I might as well not have been wearing it all all. He pushes my top aside and takes my breast in his mouth, his tongue rolling over the sensitive peak, and I lose my mind.  
  
The fierce need for him overcomes me and I’m desperate to feel him. All of a sudden I’m too hot, _I’m stifling_ , I need his skin on mine. I have to bite down on my lip, _hard_ , to contain any noise that threatens to escape.  
  
His lips find mine again, and my hand drifts down under his shirt, over the line of hair on his stomach, and down further still.  
  
He catches my wrist in his hand, hard enough to hurt, and grins darkly against my ear, his voice warm on my skin.  
  
“Slow down, sweetheart. You’ll get your chance.”  
  
And then he presses me back against the bed, his hair tickling the skin on my stomach, my hips, and then my thighs before he rips aside my panties and his tongue finds the sweet spot underneath and I _break._  
  
*  
  
The next day I’m tidying up my corner of the dorm room, humming along to the song on the radio, when my phone buzzes. I pick it up from my bed, glancing over the screen and letting out a low, disbelieving laugh at Castiel’s message.  
  
 ** _Dinner at Saturn’s tomorrow night. I’ll pick you up at 8._**  
  
I fall back onto my covers before tapping a reply.  
  
 ** _Are you asking me on a date?_**  
  
His reply comes a second later.  
 **  
 _So what if I am?_**  
  
“What are you smiling at?” Yeleen asks from across the room, her dark eyebrows dipping in curiosity.  
  
“Nothing,” I answer, trying my best to hide the stupid smile that’s broken across my face from my room mate.  
  
 _This is a one time thing_ , I think with a stifled laugh.  
  
Yeah, we both knew that wasn’t true.


	7. Candy x Castiel 5

I let out the breath I've been holding, watching him walk away from me, his shadowed form illuminated by overhanging street lights and the gleam of a full, November moon.  
  
His footsteps echo through the street, deserted in these early hours of the morning. I think back on the night we had had… the party at the beach. How I had broken away from our friends, drawn to him, as I always had been.  
  
We had flirted a little. Talking about old times while he sat beside me on the sand, so close, and taught me a few songs on his guitar. The scent of his cologne had hit me harder than a brick wall at first. He still wore the same one, after all these years, and the memories the scent of him brought back were fiercely real.  
  
But despite our turbulent past, the night was… nice. That little bubble on the beach, just the two of us, listening to the waves crashing against the sand and the music from the bar faraway. No Crowstorm, no fame, no groupies.  
  
Just a boy and a girl, underneath the soft glow of the moon and the party lights overhead.  
  
“Castiel?” I call, and he stops, running a hand through scarlet strands before turning back to me. His hair is longer, his shoulders broader, and he still has that grin that makes my stomach turn to butterflies and my legs to jello. The same one he’s wearing now.  
  
“Thank you for tonight,” I have to raise my voice to be heard, he’s almost at the corner of the street now. His lips quirk higher and he dips his head, scarlet locks falling around his face.   
  
“It’s my pleasure, little girl,” he answers, his deep voice cutting through the silence of the night.  
  
His voice is what I remember most. He used to hold me so tight, singing me to sleep while he traced patterns on my back with his fingertips. We could spend hours and hours just wrapped up in each other, never letting go.  
  
He hesitates, turning to leave before stopping himself, his mouth a tight line.  
  
“Don’t go and fall in love now,” he says, quieter this time, and for a moment I wonder if he’s talking to me or himself.  
  
I give him a look, my eyebrows dipping, though he only chuckles darkly, shoving his hands in his pockets before turning and continuing down the darkened street.  
  
I swallow thickly, sifting through the ghosts of past memories in my head. He had said something similar to me, all those years ago.  
  
 _“You haven’t gone and fallen in love now, have you?”_  
  
We both knew the answer as soon as he said it. It had been gleaming in my eyes, as plain as day. And then he had kissed me, and my world changed in an instant.  
  
Things are different now. We’re older, we’ve matured… though we’re not necessarily wiser.  
  
The game has changed. The stakes are higher. And I know that I don’t have to worry about falling in love with him, not this time. Because the simple truth is more familiar then any song. The melody of it plays in my head, over and over, until the words stick in my mind, refusing to be ignored.  
  
I’ve been in love with him all along.


	8. Candy x Castiel 6

**Castiel POV**

I step into the hallway with an impatient sigh, the nurse shutting the door behind me with a bang. The air from the force ruffles my hair, and I turn back to the door with a scowl.

What was his name again? _Gabriel?_  
  
Hell, I guess it doesn’t even matter. He’s a prick either way.  
  
I wanted to stay with her, to make sure she’d be okay. I wouldn’t be a bother, I’d said. Still, that pretty boy nurse was having none of it. My teeth are gritted, my jaw flexed.  
  
Fine. Whatever. _I’m gone._  
  
I stroll out onto the campus quad, raising a hand to shield my eyes from the sun. It’s still cold, December arriving with a chill in the air and the promise of snow. The sun is trying it’s best, despite it all.  
  
I let out a breath, the air lightly fogging in front of me as I calm my temper and relax. It doesn’t take long to realize from a couple of strange looks i’m receiving that my shirt is torn, right down the front. I curse under my breath and zip up the front of my jacket. She must have ripped it when she fell. Not that that’s her fault.  
  
Guess I should go home and change.  
  
It only takes a couple of steps before I stop, second-guessing myself. Students are watching me as they walk past. A group of girls by the art building stairs are shooting me excited glances.  
  
They’re merely background noise. I barely even notice the attention anymore, unless I want to.  
  
I just can’t stop seeing it. Her falling clean out of her seat, hitting the ground before I can catch her. It plays over and over in my head. I didn’t know things were so bad with her… it makes my head pound to think about it.  
  
Once upon a time ago I would have refused to leave her, but now… shit, I guess I don’t have a right to that anymore.  
  
If only I could tell her how I really feel, instead of cracking jokes all the time like a goddamn idiot. But I won’t… our song is over, done and dusted, the melody faded.

I don’t deserve her anyway. Maybe I never did.  
  
I run a hand through my hair before shoving my hands in my jacket pockets and walking in no particular direction. I just need to clear my head. My fingers itch for a cigarette, but I ignore it. Old habits die hard, I guess.  
  
Nathaniel’s been skulking around her a lot. I know he has a thing for her, he always has. And that kid she works with? Hugh?  
  
God, I’m terrible with names. Easier to give them all nicknames instead.  
  
 _'Apron'_ will do.  
  
I think they’re just friends, but he sure spends a lot of time with her, even when his apron is off. He seems like a nice kid, but still… he can’t be her type now.  
 _  
Can he?_  
  
I shake the thoughts from my head. I lost my right to be jealous when I gave up on her. When I didn’t fight hard enough for the best thing that had ever happened to me.  
  
 _What a fool I was._  
  
She’s still beautiful. Her hair is longer, her eyes brighter. And she’s filled out in places I never expected. Guess I’ll have to find a new nickname for her, 'ironing board' is a little outdated now.  
  
It was a stupid fucking nickname anyway. I should’ve just called her beautiful, that’s what she was.  
  
That’s what she is.  
  
I force my feet to move faster, having lingered too long already. I’ll only be restless if I go home, thinking of when she wakes up, wishing I was what she woke up to.  
  
So instead, i’ll find out who wrote this bloody note and put them back in their place. God knows she doesn’t need to deal with these bullshit rumors on top of everything else.  
  
I’ll need help. Someone who knows how to get information out of people. Someone who can scare the living daylights out of half the suckers on campus.  
  
My lips quirk at the corners as only one name comes to mind.  
  
 _Rosalya._


	9. Candy x Castiel 7

“Happy birthday!”  
  
Castiel groans and pulls the covers up over his head, fighting me as I lazily twist them in my hands and attempt to pull them back off him.  
  
“Don’t remind me,” his muffled voice echoes from under the blanket and I giggle, provoking him further.  
  
“Too late for that. I’ve already told _everyone_. Priya and Rosa are organizing a big surprise party for you. Cake and everything.”  
  
He pulls back the covers and glares at me, part horrified and part enraged.  
  
“You _didn’t_.”  
  
The tinkle of a laugh escapes me as I flop back down on the bed. I knew he’d fall for that, and he looked downright adorable as he did.  
  
“Has anyone ever told you…” Castiel grabs me by the hands all of a sudden and locks them above my head with one hand, pinning me down with his weight while his fingers trail dangerously over my waist.  
  
“That it’s not _nice_ to lie to people?”  
  
He drags out the words and I inhale sharply, completely aware of the wicked glint in his eye and the payback I know I deserve.  
  
And then he strikes, his hands clasping either side of my waist and I scream in laughter as he tickles me, squirming against his weight and failing miserably to escape him.  
  
“Cas, stop!” I cry out, breathless, and eventually he ceases his attack and stares down at me, his stormy eyes narrowed. I don’t miss the hint of amusement that tugs at his lips, and I bite down on mine to keep from grinning stupidly.   
  
Long, scarlet strands fall into his face, and when he speaks his voice is low, and still raspy from sleep.  
  
“What am I going to do with you?”  
  
“I suspect you could do anything you want,” I tease and lean up to nuzzle his nose playfully with my own, my smile positively sinful. “It is your _birthday_ , after all.”  
  
He raises his eyebrows at me and I see the moment an idea forms in his mind, the way his lips curve demonically, and my stomach tightens.  
  
"Anything, huh?”  
  
He runs a hand over my throat and my breath stutters at the touch, his fingers trailing down lazily over my chest to play with the top of my nightie. I arch my body into his, feeling the warmth of his long legs tangled with mine and the beat of his heart beneath his bare chest.  
  
Until he pushes himself up and sits back on his heels and I pout, missing his warmth, before I let out a yelp as he flips me onto my stomach.  
  
 _“Cas…”_ I breathe, but I barely have time to react before he’s on me again, hips pressing down against my ass and his arms locking me in.  
  
“Anything?” He asks again, his breath warm against my ear and his lips soft as they trail over the side of my face. The heat of his mouth drives a warmth down low into my stomach and I bite down on my lip, feeling him roll his hips against me again.

All I can do is whimper as he grabs my ass in his hand, his fingers dangerously close to the spot that’s _begging_ for his touch.

“Candy,” Castiel drags my earlobe between his teeth and my body aches for him, a familiar pulsing settling between my legs.  
  
 _“Mmm?”_ I can barely make a sound as his fingers push my nightie up over my hips, my body trembling under his touch.  
  
“Get up and get dressed. We’re going to get pancakes.”  
  
 _What the-_  
  
He stops and removes his weight from me and I turn onto my back, giving him a disbelieving look. What does he think he’s playing at? Noticing my confusion, he simply shrugs and grins in that cocky way that makes me want to do bad, _bad_ things with him.  
  
“It is my _birthday_ , after all.”  
  
I throw him a withering glare and he laughs, taking me around the waist and pulling me up to him. With his hands on either side of my face he kisses me all over. My nose, my cheeks, my lips.  
  
“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he chuckles darkly as I pout at him. “We have time for a long, _long_ shower before we leave.”  
  
 _That’s more like it._


	10. Candy x Castiel 8

**Castiel POV**

_She’s going to marry my best friend._  
  
He had asked her only minutes ago.  
  
I knew he was going to do it, he had been a nervous wreck for days, asking me what to say, what to do, if I thought she’d say yes.  
  
Of course she’d say yes, he could count on it.  
  
What I wasn’t counting on is how much it would hurt.  
  
And _God, did it hurt_. Like a hot _fucking_ poker stabbing me in the chest.  
  
I came outside, desperate for a cigarette, but now that I’m here I can’t tear my eyes away from the sky. The night wind rolls over my skin, calming in its own way. I’ve never seen so many stars. It’s peaceful, here on the farm. The perfect place for her.  
  
She looked so beautiful when she said yes, wearing that dress, the same colour as the blush on her cheeks. Her hair falling in cascading curls over her shoulders.  
  
I squeeze my eyes tight to rid the image from my mind. It’s easier to forget it. At least, I hope it will be.  
  
“Castiel?”  
  
She steps onto the porch, the dim light on the wall illuminating her skin. The scent of her follows. I don’t know what it is, exactly, but it’s enough to drive me crazy.  
  
“Hey, little girl,” I force a smile to my lips. She doesn’t deserve to be put through this. It’s not her fault I’m an idiot with a twisted heart.  
  
“Are you okay?”  
  
“Just peachy. Congrats, by the way.”  
  
“Thanks,” she murmurs, fiddling with the ring that he had slipped onto her finger. I had even helped him pick it out.  
  
 _My God, I’m a sadistic asshole._  
  
“I looked for you, after. You were gone,” her voice is so sincere it sets my hair on end.  
  
“Yeah, just needed some space,” I lie. I’ve perfected the art of it by now. Not that it’s something I’m proud of.  
  
 _“Castiel_ …” she’s hesitant, I can see it in her eyes. Her perfect, almond eyes. _God, I’m a fool for this girl._  
  
“Lysander will always be your best friend… this won’t change that.”  
  
I could almost laugh. She knows somethings up, but she’s got it all wrong. It’s not him that’s got my heart torn up.  
  
She lays a hand on my arm and it’s so gentle, yet burns all at the same time. She moves her fingers up my arm, and I can feel myself breaking.  
  
 _“Talk to me.”_  
  
I take in a deep breath. It comes out uneven when I release it. She’s the only woman who’s been a constant in my life of uncertainty.  
  
And somewhere along the way she became my best friend too.  
  
“I can’t.”  
  
It finally slips out. A sliver that proves that I’m not okay at all. She sees it, her eyebrows dipping.  
  
“Don’t mind me, Candy,” I run a thumb across my chin casually, trying to downplay the stupidity of my feelings for her. “I’m the idiot who fell for the wrong girl.”  
  
I watch as confusion twists her beautiful features, before the slap of realisation hits her.  
  
 _“Castiel…”_ she breathes, and my stomach twists unpleasantly. I don’t want her pity. Hell, I didn’t even want her to know in the first place. I should’ve kept my big mouth shut.  
  
“Look at me.”  
  
I can’t. I grit my teeth against the bitterness rising up in me. It breaks my heart to know I’ll never see her look at me the way she looks at my best friend. And really, I don’t want her to. Lysander will give her the world. A stable home, everything she could ever want.  
  
But some small part of me, selfish and jealous, wishes she were mine.  
  
Lysander is the best man I know. Sometimes I think I don’t deserve his friendship. No. _I know I don’t_. I wouldn’t have fallen for his girl if I did.  
  
It takes her fingers on my chin - so small, yet stronger than I expect - to turn my head to her. Still I don’t look. I pull out of her grasp, my head shaking from side to side, thoroughly pissed off at these feelings I can’t shake away with it.  
  
“I shouldn’t be in love with you.”  
  
The words hang in the air until the silence stretches, and I can’t take it anymore. I’m about to run, the picture of a coward, until she stops me.  
  
“I know how you feel,” her voice is small, but the words are enough to stun me.  
  
I see it then, when I finally look at her. I’m not so much of a fool as I thought I was. _She feels it too._  
  
“I love you too,” she admits, her eyes downcast. “I know it’s not fair. I shouldn’t feel this way either. But I… I can’t help it.”  
  
I pull her closer to me then, taking care to be gentle, raising a hand to run my thumb over her lower lip. _Maybe I always knew_. Maybe that’s why she’s the one girl I could never forget.  
  
“I wish we could have time. In another life maybe, I don’t know. _Fuck_.”  
  
I roll my eyes at myself, feeling stupid all of a sudden. Lysander is the poetic one, not me.  
  
“I just don’t want this to be the end.”  
  
 _“It’s not.”_  
  
Her mouth is so perfect, her lips rosy pink and pouty. I just want them to be mine.  
  
“I’m happy for the two of you, don’t get me wrong…”  
  
 _Fuck, I’m a mess._  
  
My arms are around her waist, her hands on my forearms. If anyone walked out right now we’d have some explaining to do. I can’t stop looking at her, I’m frozen in place.  
  
I’m too far gone.  
  
It doesn’t help that I always pick the groupies with the same hair, always take them from behind to satisfy these twisted fantasies I have of her.

None of them can reach her level of perfection.

I would never ask her to leave him, no matter how much my bones might scream out for it.  
  
“I should leave.” I say decisively. I shouldn’t be here, on a night like this, with these thoughts inside my head.  
  
I pull away, but her hands tighten on me, and when I turn back her eyes are so fervent that I can’t stop myself.

I close the distance between us, my lips on hers. She’s still for a moment, until her mouth moves against mine, and _fuck she tastes so sweet_. Like champagne and vanilla. Like everything I’d ever imagined it would be.  
  
It’s only a few seconds, and when she pulls back I have to grit my teeth against the savage urge to kiss her again, to pull her tighter against me.  
  
“If you leave now, I’ll never forgive you,” she breathes, and the sound sends a chill running through me.  
  
She’s in my arms, and it’s all I’ve ever wanted. Life is perfect, if only for a few, fleeting moments. She looks up at me, and I know I can do it. _I can stay_. For her. For Lysander.  
  
My lips quirk, but I don’t say anything else. There’s nothing to say, we both know the boundaries. This conversation won’t happen again.  
  
“Come back inside. Rosa made cake,” she says with a grin, and I don’t know how it’s possible, but I love her even more.  
  
“I’ll just be another minute,” I say, letting her go. Her hand brushes mine before she leaves, the bare wisp of a touch, but it’s a promise.  
  
We’ll love each other as best we can.


	11. Candy x Nathaniel

_Friends.  
_  
That’s what we are now, according to him.  
  
We had fallen out of touch for a long time, and I had moved on, learning to live without him. Learning to forget his love, and all the beauty that came with it. Until he re-entered my life like a hurricane, forcing me to reconnect with this strange, new version of him.  
  
The more time I spend with Nathaniel, the more I’ve gotten used to it. This bad boy attitude he wears like a mask.   
  
But also the more time I spend with him… the more I come to rely on his presence, once again. He has a way of taking my walls and shattering them completely. He always has.  
  
“Keep your guard up,” Nath growls, his voice echoing off the walls of the empty gym. It’s late. We’ve been at it for a while, and my exhaustion is showing in the set of my shoulders, the darkness of my eyes.  
  
 _Keep my guard up indeed_ , I think as I raise my fists, alternating my swings between left and right as he holds the training pads up in front of him and takes the force of my blows.

My mind drifts.  
  
Those two guys in the alley…  
  
Their faces used to haunt my nightmares. They had me waking up in a sweat at all hours of the night, locked in the dark where I felt helpless and small. I’m lucky that Nath showed up that night when he did.  
  
I shudder to think what would have happened if he hadn’t.

He had seen my struggle in the weeks after, and had offered to train me to protect myself. I was reluctant at first, but I knew I had to do something. I couldn’t let myself be as helpless as I had been that night I came back here. I refused to be.  
  
And the more I train with Nath, the more soundly I sleep. I’ve still got a long way to go, but it’s a start. I’m getting stronger everyday.  
  
“Gloves off,” he orders after a while, throwing the pads to one side and adjusting the wraps around his hands. His face is tight when he’s in training mode. Focused.   
  
“Let’s go over the maneuvers I showed you last time.”  
  
Droplets of sweat trickle down my back and I remove my gloves and set them aside, taking in a deep breath to steel myself. This is the part I dread the most.  
  
I stand in the middle of the ring, shoulders set, and he comes up behind me, slow at first. He talks me through the moves, his actions becoming stronger and quicker the more confident I become.  
  
We practice over and over until I can get him on the ground in a matter of seconds, and he gives me a tap of approval on my leg as he pushes himself up off the mat.  
  
“Good,” he says, and I grin proudly. Another move to add to the vault.  
  
He takes a swig from his water bottle, and I watch him curiously. I don’t know where he learnt most of the things he knows, I don’t even know if he knew all this when we were together. But I have to admit… he’s a good teacher.  
  
The next move is trickier. It’s always worse when he’s in front of me, it brings back too many unwanted memories. Nath starts with his hand around my throat, not tight enough to hurt, but enough to immobilize me.  
  
I fend him off successfully, and he nods in approval before trying again. I hit his arm aside, another successful attempt.  
  
But I can feel it rising in me, the memories of panic and helplessness. The overwhelming fear of being alone. The next time I move to hit him, I falter, my stuttered breath catching in my throat.  
  
“Candy,” Nath drops his hand immediately.  
  
The walls cave in on me, drowning me in their sea of doubt, and I fall.

I crouch down, curling my knees up and making myself small. My eyes sting with the threat of tears, and I take in a gulp of air to steady myself, my chest tightening painfully.

“Candy, look at me.”  
  
His voice sounds distant. Not entirely there. When the sirens in my head finally subside, I find he’s dropped to his knees in front of me. He gently takes my chin in between his finger and thumb, raising my face towards him.  
  
It takes a second or two, I don’t want him to see the distress that I know is written all over my tear-stained face, but finally I look up at him from under dark lashes. I don’t see pity, or anger, or even worry on his face. All I see is his steely resolution.  
  
And I know he believes in me.  
  
“You’re safe,” he says, his hand moving to cup the side of my face gently. “You’re safe with me.”  
  
All I can do is nod. Not from fear of him, but simply the fact that I don’t think I could string a sentence together even if I try.  
  
 _We’re just friends_ , I have to tell myself again.  
  
I think.  
  
It’s nothing new, the panic attacks. We’ve learned to work through them when they hit, and it’s easier to get back on my feet every time. In the beginning they left me immobilized. Quite unable to recover so easily.  
  
“Do you want to stop?” He asks, and I shake my head.  
  
Now, I’ve learnt to push through. Using those memories to fuel me as I train myself harder against my fears. I have to keep going.  
  
“Try again,” he says gently, taking the same stance and waiting for my okay.  
  
Feeling more confident, I slam his hand aside, then bring my knee up into his stomach, but I misjudge the distance and end up kneeing him in the bare abdomen much too hard, with a resounding _thwack_.  
  
 _“Fuck, Candy_ …” he breathes, doubled over in pain, and my eyes widen.  
  
“Nath, _shit_ … I’m sorry.”  
  
He drops to sit on the mat with a groan, still rubbing his stomach tenderly. I sit down with him, a hand on his shoulder to make sure he’s okay. He lifts his head, and instead of the anticipated scowl, he throws me a lopsided grin.  
  
“You’re getting the hang of it.”  
  
I smile a little and he moves closer, reaching out to brush the hair away from my face that has fallen out of my ponytail. And then he stops, his hand lingering on the side of my face, his thumb running over my flushed skin.  
  
“Is this part of the training?” I ask, my voice a mere breath as I fall into those familiar golden eyes.  
  
His lips quirk up at the corner. “Do you want it to be?”  
  
I bite down on my lip to stifle my stupid grin, and he chuckles, shaking his head in amusement.  
  
And that laugh. _My God, that laugh_. That whisper of a memory that’s all the proof I need to know that my Nathaniel…  
  
He’s still in there.


	12. Candy x Nathaniel 2

“Nath, I have to go.”

I pull my gloves off my hands and set them on the bench, reaching up to adjust my ponytail which has fallen loose.

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” He asks, unwrapping his hands leisurely and surveying me through golden eyes. His chest is bare and slick with sweat. I’ve been trying to keep from losing myself in the sight of it all evening, though failed miserably.

“I have a date,” I say finally, running my towel over my neck, my throat, my chest.

Training with Nathaniel always leaves me hot and bothered. In more ways than one.

My body stills when he laughs, pausing in his task to give me an inquisitive look.

“With?”

_“None of your business.”_

He stretches his arms above his head, loosening his muscles, his blonde hair falling into his eyes in that way that leaves me fighting to catch my breath. I try my best to concentrate on putting away the boxing equipment we had been using, rather than gawking at him.

_It’s more of a challenge than I would like to admit._

“That kid from your job, right? What’s his name? Hans?”

“You know perfectly well that it’s Hyun,” I snap, thoroughly annoyed at his indifference.

_I expected him to act differently. To be jealous, maybe… but not this casual._

He makes a sound, a sort of amused grunt, but doesn’t say anymore. I busy myself with cleaning my gloves, feeling his eyes on me, though I try desperately to ignore him.

Hyun had been persistent about asking me out. At first, I was hesitant. He was so unlike any of the other guys I had dated, who had all turned out to be self-obsessed assholes, including one particular red-head who had left my heart broken and my head messed up. Eventually I convinced myself that it might be exactly what I need… someone who’s not like all the others.

So this time when Hyun asked, I finally said yes.  
  
And I was happy with my answer. Hyun is gentle, and uncomplicated. After my last relationship, the hurricane of emotions and turmoil, I realised what I should be looking for instead. Someone safe. Someone sweet. And most of all, someone who’s not _anything_ like the man currently in front of me, who’s every move screams danger and who’s body is an elaborate trap set up to lure in broken girls like me.

Nath is watching me, his eyebrows raised in amusement and that stupid, lazy grin on his face. As if it’s the most ridiculous thing in the world, the thought of me on a date with Hyun. I resist the urge to slap it off his face.  
  
“Don’t look at me like that,” I snap instead, shoving my water bottle and towel into my bag a little more aggressively than I had meant to.  
  
“Like what?”  
  
He’s baiting me, I know it. When I don’t answer, he raises a blonde eyebrow at me, and that goddamn smirk finally falls from his face.  
  
“I know he’s not your type," he says darkly, his voice low and callous.  
  
I turn on him, my arms folding across my chest impatiently. “And _what_ would my type be exactly?”  
  
“Me.”  
  
I scoff, turning around to zip up my bag. There’s the reaction I had been expecting. The possessiveness, the jealousy. As if I were his to control.

“Keep dreaming, Nath.”

It’s getting to that hour in the gym where everyone has already finished their workout and headed home for the night. Not that anyone would enter the boxing room while Nath’s using it anyway. It’s ridiculous how scared people are of him, and it’s something that I still don’t fully understand.

I’ve just hoisted my gym bag onto my shoulder when I feel his presence behind me, his hands sliding over my hips, and the bag falls to the ground with a thud.  
  
“You know exactly what you’re doing, don’t you?” His lips are beside my ear, his warm breath ruffling my hair, and I feel tiny bumps raising on the skin of my neck.  
  
I swallow thickly, trying to keep my head. I can’t play into his game. Not again.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

His hands wander over my stomach, playing with the waistband of my shorts, and my breath hitches in my throat.

 _“God, you drive me crazy.”_  
  
My body warms, coming alive under his touch, though I will it not to. When I speak, my voice is not nearly as steady as I wish it were. “I’m afraid you went that way before I came back into the picture.”

“Are you trying to make me jealous on purpose?” His voice is a low growl in my ear, and it does things to my body that I should be ashamed of. _I’m supposed to be meeting Hyun for dinner, not letting myself fall into Nathaniel’s trap once again…  
_  
“Is it working?” The words leave my lips before I can stop them, and I mentally slap myself. He wants to play. No need to encourage him.  
  
It only takes his hand on my elbow to turn me so I’m facing him. He grips my chin between his fingers, forcing me to look at him.  
  
“You _know_ what you do to me,” he growls, his voice so dark that it sends a chill through me.

I should leave. I should walk out of here right now, without another word.

 _The problem is, I know I won’t…  
_  
“This isn’t a thing,” I say, pointing between us, attempting to stand my ground. It doesn’t help my argument when my voice breaks under his gaze. “We’re not a thing.”

“Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.” He has me exactly where he wants me, and he knows it.

 _Well, two can play that game…_  
  
I let out an impatient huff of air as I pull away from his grasp and move past him. “I don’t have time for this.”  
  
His hand on my arm stops me.

_“Don’t go.”_

“He’s waiting for me,” I try to pull my arm from his grasp, but he only squeezes tighter. When he speaks, his voice is tight. Nothing but an icy thread of bitterness.  
  
“What do I have to do to stop you from going on that date, huh? Get on my knees and _beg_?”

“Don’t be-“ My voice is cut short by the sight of him dropping to his knees in front of me, and my head grows heavy.

I’ve spent so long trying to push away my feelings for him, telling myself I’m only repeating history with my bad choices. And then he goes and pulls shit like this, and it makes it _impossible_ to fight against it.  
  
“Is this what you want to see?” He gazes up at me through thick lashes, and his lips curve slowly into a grin which is positively demonic. 

“Nath, get up.”

“Don’t act like you don’t like it.”

_“I don’t.”_

“What if I do this?” His fingers snake up the back of my bare leg as he presses a kiss to my thigh, and my skin turns electric under his touch. I know he doesn’t miss the shudder it sends through my entire body. When he does the same on the other side, my legs tremble, and my hands on his shoulders are the only thing keeping me upright, my fingers digging into his skin hard enough to leave marks.  
  
“You know, there are plenty of things I can do with my mouth besides talking,” he purrs, scattering kisses over my skin. My legs part involuntarily, and he nips the inside of my thigh with his teeth, drawing out a soft gasp.  
  
He’s coaxing me into it, I can feel it. It’s not that I don’t want this, that I don’t want him. _I want him so much that it terrifies me._

And the dangerous part is that he knows. He would never push it if I was unsure, I know that much… but I’m not unsure, only cautious. I think he almost enjoys breaking down my walls.

“You know he won’t _fuck_ you like I do,” his breath is so close to my core that I can feel its warmth course through me, and my eyes flitter shut.

 _It would be so easy… so easy to give in to him… to let him make me feel the way I know he can._  
  
“Nath… _I can’t_ …” My voice is a gasping breathe of air, my hands threading through his hair. I can feel his lips on my skin, his tongue flicking over the sensitive spots on my legs and it’s making me _lose my mind._

 _Dangerous… its too risky._  
  
“That’s what you said last time,” he says against my skin, his fingers trailing dangerously close to the hem of my shorts.

I can’t say no to him. It’s a weakness. A disease that’s left me helpless and compliant. And it’s my own fault, because I can’t stay away from him, no matter how hard I try. 

_I hate him sometimes. Hate the way he makes me want him so bad. And I want him, I want him, I want him…_

His fingers slide under the fabric of my shorts, and then underneath my panties where I’m hot, and slick, and desperate for his touch. There’s no hiding that I’m wet for him, and he knows it in an instant.

A low growl tears from his throat and his eyes turn wild. In one quick movement he’s on his feet, one arm dragging me against his hard body, and the other pulling the elastic out of my hair.

His mouth over mine has me breaking under his touch. _I can’t stop. I can’t stop…_

He has me well and truly in his web, and _I don’t care… I just need him to keep touching me like he is._

He bites my bottom lip, using his tongue to flick over the spot a second later. His hand is so tight in my hair I can’t move, even if I wanted to. My legs tremble, and I’m weak against him, useless to do anything except give in…

He drops down to the mat, taking me with him, positioning me in his lap where my legs are straddling either side of him. I kiss him hard, I don’t want him to be gentle with me, and he knows… _oh God, he knows everything…_

My body melts into his and I roll my hips against him, delighting in the low sound he makes at the contact. It gives me some control, at least, knowing his body responds to me as much as mine does to him.

His lips move to my neck and I bite down on my tongue, desperately trying to hold back any sound that threatens to escape my lips as his mouth moves to that sensitive spot in the crook of my neck. He bites again, this time a little too rough, and I let out an annoyed sound.

_What am I doing? Why do I let him win, time and time again…?_

I pull back from him, taking in a sharp breath to steel myself against him.  
  
_“I have to go.”_

He lets out the smallest breath of a laugh, leaning his head forward against my shoulder, but doesn’t stop me this time. “You’ll come back to me. You always do.”

I untangle myself from him quickly, not letting enough time pass to second guess my decision. “I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you.”

He only watches me, amused, as I attempt to gather my wits.

“Enjoy your date,” he says with a lazy grin, sitting with his arms resting over his bent knees. “I’ll be taking a nice, long shower. All on my own.” Then he winks at me. “I’ll think of you.”

I tear my eyes away from his body, the one that I’m tempted, even now, to tun back to and narrow them at him before I leave, swinging my gym bag over my shoulder.

My skin is still feverish as I all but run past the girl at the counter, but I don’t let myself turn back. I give her a tight smile. I can’t remember her name. _Mandy… or Maggie maybe?_

“Bye Candy… _oh_. I see training with Nath went well,” she tries and fails miserably to hide her giggle behind her hand.

My eyebrows dip, and I’ve almost made it to the exit when I see the source of her amusement in the reflection of the door. That _sneaky_ son of a bitch has left bite marks on my neck, my thighs, and God only knows where else.

I let out a defeated sigh, though I know I’m not nearly as annoyed as I should be.

Who am I kidding? _I’m crazy for the guy…_

I suppose there’s nothing left to do now except crash Nathaniel’s shower and finish where we left off.


	13. Candy x Nathaniel 3

He says goodnight and kisses me on the forehead, though I barely register it. My lashes flitter over sun-soaked skin, fighting to stay open. I’m so exhausted I could fall asleep where I stand, right in the middle of this hallway, and I know that it’s only his arm around me, holding me against him, that’s preventing me from doing so. 

  
Reluctantly, I pull myself away from him, using the door frame of my room to steady myself. Immediately, I regret it, missing his arms. The warmth and the strength of those corded muscles. I’d been dozing in them for the past couple of hours. I’d gotten quite used to them.  
  
“Nath, wait.”  
  
He was leaving, but he turns back to me, his golden eyes dark and heavy. It’s almost 5 am, and the party at the beach had left us both shattered. It wouldn’t be fair to make him walk all the way through town to his apartment at this hour.  
  
“You could stay… if you want?”  
  
I know it’s not the most subtle thing to ask…we had only recently started getting to know each other better. But I feel safe around him. I feel happy when he’s here. I can’t ignore that.  
  
“If you’re trying to seduce me, I’m afraid your timing is awful,” he cracks a grin, but I can see the exhaustion weighing on him. His heavy shoulders, his tight smile.  
  
“Not like that,” I say with a tired laugh, opening the door to my dorm with a gesture for him to enter. “Just to sleep.”   
  
He thinks for a moment, his lips lifted on one side. “Well… If you insist.”  
  
We don’t bother flicking on the lights. There’s enough moonlight shining through the small window to illuminate the place. Though all of a sudden, I’m nervous. I haven’t shared a bed with someone in such a long time… even just to sleep next to each other.  
  
Yeleen isn’t home, as I had thought. She had been utterly engrossed with her friends, or… _whatever_ they were, when I ran into her at the beach. Thank god for that. I don’t need any of her snarky comments in the morning.  
  
Nath hangs his jacket over the back of my desk chair and kicks off his shoes. I stifle a yawn with the back of my hand and slide into bed fully dressed, too tired to change into anything else.   
  
The softness of my mattress is a welcome comfort, and I bury under the covers dreamily, letting out a contented sigh as the night washes off me.  
  
My heart picks up a little as Nath slides under the covers with me, his body warm and the scent of his cologne enveloping me, making my already foggy head spin.  
  
I don’t hesitate when he pulls me into his arms, my head resting against his chest, and my nerves start to settle. He lets out a long breath and I relax into him, letting him run his fingers through my long hair, so gently…  
  
I’m asleep within minutes.  
  
 _I dream of the beach. A paradise illuminated by the soft glow of the moon over white sand. The two of us walk along the shore together, our feet wet from the waves and the ocean air kissing our skin. We don’t say anything. I don’t think we need to.  
  
Nath takes me by the wrist and pulls me into the water. At first, I hesitate. The water is so dark… a glassy, black mass reflecting the sky above us. Who knows what sinister thing could be lurking under the surface.  
  
But when Nath pulls me into him, his lips finding mine, I don’t seem to care anymore. The water gets deeper, licking up the skin of my legs, but all that matters are his hands on my waist, and his taste on my lips and the way that he kisses me so hungrily I can barely catch my breath. The water rises, but I don’t panic. Because I’m with him._  
  
When I wake up it’s to a stream of midday light peeking through a slit in the curtains, and my eyes squeeze shut, taking a moment to adjust to the brightness.  
  
Nath is beside me, fast asleep, his nose nuzzled in my neck and his arm around my waist. I can’t help but smile softly to myself. I’ve never seen him so still before. So peaceful. His breath slow and warm against my skin, and his hair golden in the morning light.  
  
He pulls me tighter against him in his sleep, and I know in this moment that I don’t care what anyone has to say. I don’t care if Rosalya despises him, or Alexy disapproves, or what any of my friends have to say about him.  
  
 _Because they’re wrong._  
  
Whoever this Nath is, high school version of him or not, I’m falling for him.  
  
And when he stirs, murmuring “Morning, beautiful,” and kisses me on the cheek, I know…  
  
He’s falling for me too.


	14. Candy x Nathaniel 4

Swirls of warm steam escape from the crack in the door, misting in the hallway while I hesitate, holding my bottom lip between my teeth.   
  
_He’s leaving._  
  
He’s leaving _me_ , and all I have before that happens is a measly eight hours. Eight hours to remember him by. Eight hours to show him how I feel. How I _really_ feel.

I intend to make the most of it.  
  
Slipping through the door, I make out Nathaniel’s body through the shower glass, perfectly framed behind mist and water. Gathering my courage, my eyes stay on his silhouette the entire time my clothes come off. First my top, pulled over my head and discarded on the bathroom floor, and then my pants, until I’m left only in the blue, floral lingerie I had bought in town earlier.  
  
Trying not to think about how excited I had been while buying the lingerie, I step into the shower behind him and he turns, water dripping from his hair, over his skin, as his eyes flicker over me. We don’t say anything. We don’t need to. He simply takes me in his arms, cocooning me in warmth while the shower rains down over us.

I swallow thickly, any words I might have spoken turning to ash in my mouth, and knowing that his arms are the only thing keeping me together in this waking nightmare I find myself thrown in.

I leave small kisses on his shoulder, my fingers digging into his back, holding him so tightly I never want to let go. Eventually I do, slipping my hands behind my back to undo my bra and letting him pull it off the rest of the way, his eyes devouring my naked skin with a mixture of longing and grief.  
  
He pulls me against him again, chest to chest, his lips pressed against my neck as he whispers over and over, _“Forgive me. Forgive me for what I’m doing to you.”_  
  
My throat goes tight, a lump of pain settling itself within but I swallow it down, forcing the tears not to fall. Instead, I slip my panties down to my ankles, stepping out of them and kicking them aside. Nath bends down to scoop my underwear up, his lips moving over every inch of my body, electrifying my skin as he does so, before he hangs them to dry on the towel rail.  
  
When he comes back to me his lips are on mine in an instant, water streaming between us, wet and warm, as we cling to each other. My chest tightens, my breath growing heavy, though I’m not sure if it’s the steam in the room or the thought of losing him that causes it.  
  
 _Probably both._  
  
He bends to take me under the thighs and I wrap my legs around him, feeling his hard body tense against me and letting him press me back against the tiled shower wall, where I wince a little at the coldness on my back.  
  
I feel him between my legs, feel that he wants this as much as I do, and my core warms in response to him, a tingling settling between my thighs. His golden eyes never leave mine as he positions himself against me and pushes inside, and my lips fall against his shoulder in a gasp as I _melt._  
  
A groan escapes him and he starts slow, kissing my face, my neck, giving my body time to adjust to him. My arms curl tighter around his neck, fingers threading through his soaked hair while the shower streams down behind him.  
  
And then he thrusts into me harder, fingers digging into my ass as he holds me up and I try not to think how this is the first and last time I’ll ever feel him like this, how my heart is breaking in my chest even while his body sends me into a spiral of ecstasy.  
  
I kiss him deep to chase away dark thoughts, letting his tongue send a jolt of wanting through me so strong I think of nothing but his body against me, _inside_ me. Our eyes meet, heavy-lidded as we drink each other in, wordlessly acknowledging how fragile these last hours we have together are.

His face grows dark and he stills, swallowing down whatever dejected emotions are dancing behind those golden eyes. In an instant he pulls out and lets me down, turning me to face the wall before he slides inside again.

This time he’s less gentle. A hand travels up over my breasts, palming them roughly and rolling my beaded nipples between his fingers. I gasp and lean back into him when he buries his lips in my neck, his fingers gripping my hips as he pumps faster and faster.  
  
Heat builds in my core, a coiling in my stomach so tight it begs to be released. A stuttered gasp escapes me and he knows I’m close. He slips a hand between my thighs, rubbing my clit in circles and bringing me closer and closer to the edge.  
  
When I break it’s with his name on my lips and my head thrown back against his shoulder, water streaming down my face. My body tightens and I clench around him, a surge of pleasure running through me like liquid fire, like the release I’ve been craving for so long.  
  
My forehead falls forward against warm tiles and I feel the stuttered movements of him falling apart before he surges inside me, impossibly deep, holding there while he groans and comes undone, his golden hair splayed over my back when he leans forward against me.

Afterwards he wraps me in a soft, white towel and helps me dry my hair. Dressed in only a pair of sweatpants, he hands me one of his t-shirts to wear and we slip into bed together, his arms around me and my head against his chest.  
  
When he whispers _‘I love you’_ through the dark, for a moment I think I must have dreamed it, until I realize his breath is held, only to be released when I say it back with tears in my eye and my lips against his.  
  
*  
  
A shaft of buttery sunlight warms my face, and I rub my face gently as I wake, surveying my surroundings through eyes still heavily laced with sleep.  
  
Until I remember the night before, everything that was said, everything we had done, and I bolt upright in bed.  
  
There’s a note on the bedside table, and a set of keys. I don’t even have to read it to know what it says, because when my eyes scan the room to see his suitcase already gone, my heart shatters into a thousand pieces.  
  
Foolishly, I had hoped he would change his mind. I had hoped we would find another way, together, for him to be safe in this city. I had hoped he loved me too much to let me go.  
  
 _I was wrong._  
  
And now he’s gone.


	15. Candy x Nathaniel 5

“I found you.”  
  
I startle and turn towards the low, amused voice, almost losing my footing on the treadmill as I do so, eyes falling on the blonde beside me. He stands with his arms crossed and that familiar glint of affection in his eyes, and my knees turn rather weak at the sight of it, stomach tightening giddily.  
  
“Nath. What are you doing here?” I ask breathlessly, uncomfortably aware of the sweat beading on my skin, dripping down my back. He studies me with that cool, casual air of his while I hit the button on the console in front of me, slowing the machine more and more before it comes to a stop completely.  
  
“I wanted to catch up with Kim. It’s… been a while.”  
  
Breathing hard, I grab the towel hanging nearby and mop the moisture from my face, entirely sure I’m looking little more attractive than a ripe, red tomato.  
  
“And I missed you,” he adds, snaking an arm around my waist and dragging me closer to him before I have time to protest. When I do, hands pressed against his hard chest, he only chuckles and places a quick kiss on my lips.  
  
“We’ve spent far too much time apart. I want to make it up to you.”  
  
I relax a little in his arms, cocking a curious eyebrow. “What did you have in mind?”  
  
His face shifts, and I immediately wonder if I should regret my question, seeing his eyes grow dark and a demonic smile tug at his lips.  
  
‘How about a shower?“  
  
I throw him a withering glare and untangle myself from his arms to grab my water bottle from the treadmill, face flushing at the thought of the last time we were under running water together, and he laughs at the insinuation.  
  
"I only meant, _sweetheart_ , because you seem in need of freshening up,” he feigns a look of innocence, mouth pulling into a tight line, though the glint in his eyes says otherwise.  
  
I step closer to him, slowly, eyes raking over that blonde hair, still tinged with the most subtlest hints of green, though it fades more and more every day. He stands tall and straight, towering over me, and I unscrew the cap from my water bottle slowly while biting down on my lip and drawing his attention to my face.  
  
“I have a better idea,” I say softly, triumph spreading through my veins when he leans closer to hear me better. “How about I freshen _you_ up instead?”  
  
And with that, I raise my water bottle above us both and dump the contents over his head, grinning smugly at the way the clear water droplets stream over his golden hair and onto his shoulders, soaking the front of his tight t-shirt.  
  
“Oh, you’re in for it now,” he growls through his surprise, grabbing for me, and a squeal of laughter escapes my lips as I bolt in the opposite direction, making it all of three steps before he hoists me up over his shoulder and smacks me on the ass for good measure.  
  
“Now you have _no excuse_ to keep me out of that shower with you.”


	16. Candy x Nathaniel 6

“Nath?”  
  
I poke my head through the door to his apartment, scanning for any sign of him. It’s quiet. The only sounds to be heard are the pattering of raindrops on the windows.   
  
Maybe he’s not here at all.  
  
Removing my key from the lock, I softly pull the door closed behind me. I’d been trying to get hold of him all morning, with no luck. The last time I’d heard from him was yesterday morning after I’d messaged him saying I’d have to miss our gym session due to having to study for an exam.   
  
I flick on a light switch before setting my handbag and keys next to the sofa. Exams are over, and we have plans this afternoon.  
  
I swear, if he’s forgotten, I’m going to wring his bloody neck.   
  
Wary, and becoming increasingly annoyed, I tip-toe through the empty house, poking my head in the kitchen. Still no sign of him.  
  
Maybe he’s at the gym. He usually turns his phone off there. But all morning?  
  
An uneasiness settles in the pit of my stomach.  
  
When I enter his bedroom, I finally find him. Sprawled over his bed, his arms up under his pillow, fast asleep. Blanche stirs when I enter, giving me a soft squeak of a meow from the end of the bed as I scratch her gently on the head, before she curls up and goes back to sleep.  
  
I can’t help but let a small smile tug at my lips, my annoyance dissipating in a second. He always manages to look so adorable, even when sleeping. His long legs clad in a pair of grey track pants and a white T-shirt that fits him in all the right places.  
  
I kneel on the bed, taking care to move slowly, and crawl over to him, planting a kiss on his cheek. His eyelids flutter as he stirs and breathes in deeply, giving me a lazy grin.  
  
“Mm, this is a good dream,” his voice is husky, still laced with sleep. He reaches an arm out for me.  
  
“Lucky for you, it’s not a dream.” I tease, letting him pull me into him. I tangle my legs with his as he snakes an arm over my waist, his nose nuzzling in my hair.  
  
“Lucky, huh? If you knew what I do to you in my dreams, maybe you wouldn’t be so sure.”  
  
I nudge him in outrage and he gives a throaty chuckle, the sound rumbling through me. He rolls onto his side and looks at me through heavy-lidded eyes, ruffling my hair playfully.  
  
“You look beautiful.”  
  
I roll my eyes to hide my delight. As if I hadn’t spent an hour this morning picking out an outfit I knew would drive him crazy.  
  
“Flatterer.”  
  
“Isn’t it my job to tell my girlfriend how amazing she looks everyday?”  
  
“Only if you mean it.”  
  
“I do.”  
  
He leans over to kiss me. It doesn’t matter how many times his lips have touched mine before, it still makes my head spin. His hands wander. His fingertips grazing my skin as they slink under the fabric of my top.  
  
I pull back from him gently, and he gives me a feline grin.  
  
“Nath… you promised you’d come see Chani’s film with me today.”  
  
His eyes crinkle. “Did I now?”  
  
He’s teasing me, I know it. I also know it’s the last thing he wants to do right now - going to see a student film. But we can’t miss it, not for anything. When I raise my eyebrows at him he sighs and drops down beside me.  
  
“Why are you still in bed anyway, lazy bones?” I prop myself up on an arm to look him over. He looks exhausted, if I’m being honest.  
  
“Late night.”  
  
Too many late nights, and too little sleep. That’s how it was with him. He rubs his eyes with a hand and my gaze flickers over the scarring on his knuckles. Every time I see him, there seems to be more.  
  
He glances at the window. To the rain pattering outside. It’s getting heavier, the dark clouds outside swallowing the light. His golden eyes turn on me, the playful glint in them unmistakable.  
  
“Or we could just stay here… I’ll make it worth your while.”  
  
He gives me a demonic grin and pulls the blanket up over us, his arms encircling me and his lips on my neck, hungry. His touch sends electric sparks running over my skin, and I bite my lip to hold back a sound. I’m so tempted to stay, and he knows it. He does this to me all too often.  
  
I let out a low sigh as he trails lazy kisses over my chest, his grip tightening on my hip. It’s not that I wouldn’t love to stay tangled up in bed with him, but we have plans. I can’t let Chani down. My voice is more breathless then I would have liked when I speak next.  
  
“Nath… _you promised_ …”  
  
He stops, hovering above me, and throws back the covers to look at me. I quirk an eyebrow at him and he lets out a defeated sigh.  
  
“Alright, alright you win. What’s this movie about huh?” He asks as he pushes himself up to sit on the edge of the bed. He gives Blanche a quick scratch on the back, and she purrs contently.  
  
I hesitate, chewing on my lower lip. The latest hobby my best friend had picked up was film-making, and today she’d be debuting her work at the local theater. True to her character, she had picked a rather unusual topic of work…  
  
“It’s a documentary…” I start slowly. “Something about the Salem witch trials and… new age magic?“  
  
He stops, throwing a hard stare at me from over his shoulder. And then chuckles as he shakes his head in disbelief.  
  
“My god, I must love you.”  
  
I grin, pushing myself up to pull him closer and whisper against his lips.  
  
“I’d say you do.”


	17. Candy x Rayan

I trudge across the quad, scarf pulled tight around my neck against the morning chill. It’s still early. Classes haven’t started, and there’s only a few students sprinkled here and there over campus.  
  
My breath mists in front of me as I let out a nervous breath. I know one person who will be ready for the day already. It’s almost too convenient that my first class of the day is with Professor Zaidi.  
  
Hugging the small box I’m carrying tighter against myself, I let a smile tug at my lips. I had convinced Rosalya to let me borrow her kitchen for the evening, staying up half the night to bake the mouth-watering creation I’m currently cradling in my arms.  
  
When Rosa asked me who the cake was for, I had to tell her. She would have never given up pestering me otherwise. At first, she was surprised. I could almost see the cogs turning in her head, trying to decipher why her best friend was making a birthday cake for _her Professor._  
  
Eventually, something clicked. Fortunately for me, she said nothing. Only gave me that sly, little smile of hers and asked if I needed any help.  
  
When I returned home that evening, I was sprinkled in flour, smothered in sugar and drizzled in chocolate. I had only iced the cake this morning, having let it sit overnight, and once it was ready and packed up in it’s little blue box, I felt a surge of pride run through me.  
  
Taking care to keep the box steady in my arms, I push open the doors to the auditorium with my shoulder and step into the light of the classroom.  
  
Rayan is here already, as I knew he would be. He looks up from where he’s standing behind his desk, his eyes warm as they meet mine. For a split second a wash of panic overtakes me, and I wonder if this was a stupid idea.  
  
What kind of person bakes a cake for their Professors birthday?  
  
“Candy?” His eyebrows dip a little, and his voice echoes through the deserted auditorium. “What are you doing here so early?”  
  
Slipping down the steps carefully, a smile quirks my lips and I inhale to keep my breath steady. _No, it’s not stupid_ , I think to myself. We had decided we wanted to be friends. We had agreed to get to know each other better.  
  
“A little birdie told me it’s a certain Professors birthday.”  
  
My voice is light, playful, losing the nervous edge. He’s not quick enough to hide the amused chuckle that escapes him.   
  
“And would this little birdie be a certain social media platform?”  
  
I give an innocent shrug, finally stepping onto the paneled floor of the bottom level, my shoes clicking against the ground. I set the box on the desk in front of him, and his eyes squint at me as he folds his arms over his chest in mock seriousness.  
  
“You know, I’m not supposed to have my students as Facebook friends. And now I know why.”  
  
“Oh come on, _relax_ a little,” I tease, poking at his arms until he uncrosses them with a roll of his eyes. “You only turn thirty-four once.”  
  
“And it gets _worse_ ,” he pinches the bridge of his nose, feigning embarrassment, though I see the smile peeking out from behind his hand.  
  
I make a face at him, and eventually he looks at me again. He gives a defeated sigh and shrugs his shoulders, lifting the top of the box in front of him. His face lights up in surprise.  
  
“ _Wow_. Did you make this?” He sounds truly impressed, and my pride bubbles a little, my lips lifting smugly at the corners. _He better appreciate my hard work…_  
  
“With my own two hands.”  
  
He looks at me again, his eyes soft. Something about the way he holds my gaze makes my stomach flip nervously.  
  
“It looks amazing, Candy. Truly.”  
  
“Would you like thirty-four candles?” I sing, sidling up next to him to admire my creation one last time and provoking him further.  
  
 _“Don’t you dare,”_ He looks up in horror, shaking his head in amusement once he realizes I’m only teasing. He laughs, and it suddenly occurs to me how much I love the sound. Deep, rich, warm. I could bask in the echo of it forever.  
  
But then the sound stops, and he looks at me a moment.  
  
“You have something… _there_ ,” he brushes his thumb over the side of my face gently. When he pulls it away there’s a spot of frosting on the tip. I was in such a hurry to finish icing the cake this morning, I hadn’t even looked in the mirror before leaving my dormitory.  
  
My eyes snap to his again, and something in them has changed. There’s a roughness that wasn’t there before. An emotion I had seen in him a couple of times before, but couldn’t quite place.  
  
He takes a step, placing me between himself and the desk, and my breath stutters a little at his intensity.  
  
We agreed to be _friends_. This seems a little closer than friends should be… though can’t say I don’t like it. My fingers itch to be closer to him. _They always have…_  
  
I lean back against the desk, my hands finding balance on the wooden surface, until… my fingers land in something soft, and squishy. I gasp in utter horror, finding I’ve planted my hand right in the middle of the cake.  
  
The beautiful birthday cake I had spent hours beating, baking and perfecting, which is now a squashed, ruined mess of chocolate and frosting.  
  
I scramble to apologize, but Rayan only chuckles, his voice breathy and low.  
  
“You’re adorable. You know that?”  
  
His words rush over me and I bite down on my lip, hardly able to speak for fear of not being able to form the words. He takes my hand in his and raises it to his lips, and my heart thumps recklessly against my chest.  
  
Mesmerized, my eyes flicker over him as he licks the cake from my skin. His tongue, wet and hot, runs over my fingers, taking the tip in his mouth and sucking the frosting from them.  
  
My pulse is racing. My temperature soaring to dangerous heights. He lets my hand go and steps even closer, his eyes flicking over my lips and his hands on either side of the desk.  
  
 _“Professor…”_ My voice is a breath, and his lips quirk. He knows _exactly_ what he’s doing to me.  
  
In one swift movement he bends to take me behind the thighs, lifting and placing me on the desk in front of him. My hands are against his chest. Not to push him away, but to balance myself against the dizziness creeping into my head.  
  
 _Friends indeed._ What kind of friend am I? Desperate for his hands on my skin, my thighs, between my legs…  
  
His lips hover over mine, his stuttered breath warm and jagged on my skin. He’s so close. So close… he could close that gap, only an inch between us, and I would give him everything.  
  
“I always wondered what you would would taste like.”  
  
His voice is a soft caress against my skin, and his lips brush against my cheek, feather-light. _This is dangerous._ Classes start soon, but I can’t stop. _I won’t stop him._  
  
His lips move lower, to my neck, and when they press against my skin I can’t stop the gasp that escapes me. His tongue flicks over my skin and I turn electric under his touch. I want more. I want him to _do_ more. _I want it all.  
_  
An alarm goes off somewhere on the desk behind me and Rayan swears under his breath, stepping away and digging under scattered papers for his phone.  
  
He turns off the alarm with a tap on his phone screen, and when he speaks his voice is low, just a breath.  
  
“Class is about to start.”  
  
When my eyes meet his I see my own emotions reflected on them. _Confusion, hesitation… longing._  
  
This is hardly the time or place for the type of thoughts I have of him, of this situation. We agreed to keep our friendship professional while on campus, and this morning has been anything but. I slide of the desk and readjust myself, speaking lowly before I hurry to find myself a seat somewhere in the back of the room.  
  
“Happy Birthday, Rayan…”  
  
Class begins after the students have filed into the auditorium, and I’ve kept my face a perfect mask. There’s a smear of chocolate on the front of Rayans’ blazer, though you wouldn’t notice it unless you knew how it got there.  
  
His eyes meet mine a couple of times during the lecture, and I manage to keep myself together, despite the growing desperation for him that’s pitted itself inside of me. I now know he feels it too. And that being friends was possibly the _dumbest excuse_ we could have ever come up with.  
 _  
After class, I’ll show him exactly what kind of_ friend _I can be._  
  
Though I’m barely listening to a word he says, too distracted instead by the way his mouth moves, the way his fingers run over the edge of his desk, I keep myself composed until the end of class draws near.  
  
That is, until a student speaks up from the front of the class and my face breaks into a knowing grin. One that I simply couldn’t hide, even if I tried. I hide my hands under the desk, concealing any evidence.  
  
“Sir, what happened to your cake?”


	18. Candy x Rayan 2

I let out a yawn, tapping my pencil on the table in front of me impatiently and checking the time on my phone.

It’s getting late, classes have finished for the day. I’ve been in the library, studying for what feels like hours. Waiting for him to hurry up so we can go and do something more exciting than this.

I sigh in frustration and tap a message on my phone.

**Finished yet?**

His reply comes only a few seconds later.

**_Not quite._ **

A huff of air escapes me as I glance around the room. It’s almost empty, only a couple of people still hanging around to do some last-minute study.

**I’m bored. Come and entertain me?**

I undo a couple of buttons on my shirt, taking a quick snap of the lacy bra I’m wearing underneath before hitting ‘send’.

**_Candy…_ **

I roll my eyes at his reply. I can almost hear the growl in his voice… a subtle warning to stop distracting him when he’s working. So, I return to my textbooks, trying anything to keep my mind from wandering to the memories of the two of us in bed together this morning… his dark, curly hair between my legs, his mouth lazily licking and kissing that sweet spot until I had gasped and trembled and come undone around him.

Tonight, I intend to return the favor. If we ever get away from this damn campus.

I poise my pencil between my fingers, ready to copy down the notes in front of me, though I’m certainly not thinking about Art History anymore. I set my pencil end between my teeth instead, lost in thought.

My professor and I have been spending more and more time together… I guess you could say things are getting serious. Most of my time is spent at his apartment these days, rather then my dorm room. Although my roommate, Yeleen, has no idea where I’ve been spending my time, I think she quite enjoys the space.

And I quite enjoy my new situation, to be honest… although not currently, maybe. But the thing is, when Rayan and I are around each other, we just can’t seem to keep our hands to ourselves… hence me being banished to the library to study.

_Fuck it._

Eventually, I lose my patience altogether. There’s only so much imagining I can take. Now, I need the real deal.

I gather up my things before exiting the library, heading towards the art building.

When I stroll into the auditorium he’s sitting at his desk, head bent and pen in hand, focused over a pile of papers.

“Mr Zaidi,” my voice is as smooth as silk, ready to play. He glances up at me for the briefest of moments, his green eyes weary, before returning to his task.

“Best if you head off without me, sweetheart,” his voice echoes through the large room. “I still have a lot to do.”

_I don’t think so._

I don’t say anything, I simply drop my bag at the bottom of the steps before strolling over to make myself comfortable right on the top of his desk. I cross my legs, the picture of perfect innocence, despite the skirt that’s riding up my thighs. I tug it up a little higher, and Rayan raises his dark eyebrows at me.

“Please remove yourself from my desk, Candy.”

“Make me.”

His stare is challenging, but I don’t back down. I only uncross my legs, giving him full view of the lace panties, matching the bra I had sent a picture of earlier, and smile at him coyly.

“You’re walking a dangerous line,” He warns, though I can see his lips quirking up at the corners. He really is terrible at this whole stern professor thing.

“Is that so?”

He leans back in his chair, his paperwork forgotten for the moment, and fixes me with that piercing gaze.

“I’ve already graded your paper, but… if you keep acting like this, I might have to fail you altogether.”

_The nerve…_

I bite on my bottom lip to keep from grinning like an idiot. There’s something so ridiculously sexy about him acting all authorative with me. It triggers a stirring between my legs that has me rubbing my thighs together, desperate for the friction.

“Or maybe I’ll get on my knees and convince you to give me an ‘A’” I tease, urging him on, and I don’t miss the flush that crawls up his face.

“You wouldn’t dare,” His eyes grow dark, and I just can’t help myself. I can feel the warmth coursing up my legs… he makes me want him so damn much…

“Oh really?” I say, sliding off the desk and positioning myself between his legs, leaning forward so my hands are resting just above his knees

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” He warns, but I can see the amusement glinting in his eyes. He’s loving this just as much as I am.

I’ve barely began to slide my hands up his thighs when a low growl tears from his throat. “Right, that’s it. You asked for it.”

In an instant he’s on his feet, and I shriek as his arms circle my waist and he hoists me up over his shoulder, slapping me on the backside for good measure.

“Put me down!” I giggle, feeling his laughter rumble through me.

_Not so serious now, are you._

“Are you going to behave yourself?” He asks, his hand running dangerously high up my thigh.

“Yes, Professor,” I say, breathless, my body growing warm under his touch.

He lets out a snort of laughter in clear disbelief.

“I’ll believe that when I see it, Miss Candy.”

He drops me gently in front of him, and I pull him closer to me by the edges of his jacket.

“Can we leave before I’m tempted to tear your clothes off right here and now,” I sigh, though he gives me an apologetic look, and my heart sinks.

“Just half an hour more, and I’ll be done. Promise.”

My lips curve into a pout, thoroughly unhappy. He gives a small eye roll and lets out a defeated sigh, before grinning and taking my hands in his.

“Fine, you win. Again. Let’s go home.”

I smile in victory as he bends down to kiss me

“Can I ever say no to you?” He says against my lips, and I can’t stop my stupid grin from spreading across my face.

 _Obviously not_.


	19. Candy x Rayan 3

**Beep. Beep. Beep.**

_Fuck._

I stumble for the snooze button on my phone, my eyes fluttering sleepily, attempting to block out the morning light and indulge in the last few remnants of sleep. I cosy down deeper under the blankets and let out a contented sigh. 

A gentle hand runs over my bare stomach and I remember where I am. The apartment in the city. The bed of my Professor. The not entirely innocent night we had spent together…

“Good morning,” his voice against my ear is husky and rough with sleep, and a smile tugs on my lips. Next come the lazy kisses against my neck as he pulls me into him. _Fuck, he’s so warm_. I could happily stay here all day.

“Mm, Professor… I do believe we have a class to attend,” My voice slips out in a breath as I feel his body behind mine, his lips becoming more insistent on my skin.

He lets out an unhappy groan, and pulls away to fumble with his phone, checking the time.

 _“Little brat_ … “ He turns back and his breath is in my ear. “You set your alarm early.”

I can’t help the giggle that escapes me.

“You caught me. Whatever are we going to do with this extra time?”

His hands wander, my skin tingling under his touch, his warmth spreading through me.

“I have a few ideas…”

A few ideas indeed. An hour later I’m struggling into my jeans, fumbling with the buttons in my attempt to _hurry the fuck up_ and get out the door. I glance at the clock on the wall.

**8.45.**

_Shit!_

It’ll take ten minutes to get to campus from here. We should’ve already left to make it in time for the 9’o’clock class.

I bustle around the kitchen, grabbing my bag from where I had dumped it on the floor last night and shoving my belongings inside.

Rayan emerges from his bedroom looking so fucking enticing with his disheveled hair and unbuttoned shirt that I’m tempted to skip class altogether and continue where we left off. I take in a sharp inhale and dismiss the thought. It’s not exactly a good look for a teacher to miss his own class.

_Especially not because he’s fooling around with one of his students._

“Here, you should eat something,” he grabs an apple from the counter and tosses it my way. I catch it with a laugh and shoot him a playful look.

“Isn’t the student supposed to give this to the teacher?”

“We do things differently around here,” he says, a roguish glint in his eye. Then he opens the front door and pushes me through it with a slap on my ass.

“Hurry up. If you’re late for class I’ll fail you,”

_What nerve!_

We arrive at campus with only seconds to spare and race across the quad. Thankfully there are only a few people around to spot us together. I can only imagine how suspicious this must look, but the damage is already done.

An affectionate squeeze on my waist is all I get as Rayan ducks into the auditorium ahead of me, and I dash into the restroom to check over my appearance, and to avoid the scene of the two of us arriving to class together.

I make a disgruntled face at my appearance in the mirror, and comb through the tangles in my hair with my fingers. My face is flushed, my lips swollen. I even smell like sex. Anyone with a brain can see how I’ve spent my morning.

But still. Class is class. I can’t miss it if I have any hope of graduating.

When I slip into the auditorium Rayan has already begun the lecture. Our eyes meet for the briefest of seconds and my face flushes with heat.

“You’re late, Candy,” he drawls, though I don’t miss the tug of his lips at the corner.

_That cheeky prick…_

“Sorry, Sir. Rough morning…”

His eyebrows quirk, and I catch him supressing a grin.

Every pair of eyes in the auditorium are on me, and I drop into the seat besides Chani with as much grace as I can muster, ignoring the eyebrow she raises at me.

Rayan continues the lecture, leaning back against his desk, looking so effortlessly gorgeous it’s a goddamn crime. It’s no surprise that every girl in the room is hanging on to his every word. I desperately try to shove away the thoughts of all the uses we might have for that desk… of how I could persuade him after class…

“You have something on your neck. Right there,”

Chani’s voice distracts me, and my hand darts to cover the love bite she’s pointing her wicked finger at. I bite down on my lip against the memory of Rayans lips against my neck, of his body over mine. It’s true he had gotten a little rough last night. Not that I was complaining. Quite the opposite in fact. He had me _begging for it._

“Don’t worry,” she says with a wink, her lips quirking. “Your secret’s safe with me.”


	20. Candy x Rayan 4

I step towards the campus gates, my hand outstretched, hesitating. Tonight has been a whirlwind. A torrent of first names and fast dancing. I’m not sure I want that to end.  
  
“Rayan…” I start, unsure of myself. My mouth is dry. My heart pounding a million miles a minute. When I turn back to him he’s looking at me curiously, his head cocked to the side and his hands in his pockets.  
  
“I would like to, you know.”  
  
His eyes squint in confusion, and I take in a deep breath to steady my voice before I can feel foolish.  
  
“Meet your friends.”  
  
He smiles at me in that way that makes my knees weak, and I bite down on my lip. It’s _insane_ how he makes me feel.  
  
“One day you will,” his voice is gravelly, laced with fatigue, and he says it with such sincerity that my heart falters.  
  
When he steps towards me, my breath sticks in my throat. We’d been close all night, but somehow, this is different…  
  
There’s something here, I know it. Something that’s not entirely right, from a moral standing.  
  
Something that makes my pulse race and my head spin. It consumes and elates me. During classes I find it harder and harder to concentrate, instead spending my time daydreaming over the curve of his arms and the way his mouth moves when he talks. Imaging the feeling of both on my skin.  
  
It’s not right. I know it can’t go any further with us then it has tonight.  
  
But I don’t care.  
  
“Rayan, I…”  
  
He steps closer, his hand under my chin, his thumb running over my lower lip. My skin is electric under his touch, my hands shaking as they find themselves pressed against his chest. He tilts my chin up, and I’m instantly lost in those bright eyes.  
  
“You don’t have to say anything,” he says, his voice quiet enough for only me to hear. “I feel it too.”  
  
He bends down and kisses me on the corner of my mouth, so gently that my breath stops. I’m as still as stone, stunned, all breath leaving my body in a disbelieving exhale. He lingers a second, his green eyes on my lips, and I think he’s going to kiss me again.  
  
 _I want him to. Oh God, do I want him to._  
  
“Goodnight, Miss.”  
  
His breath is all I can feel on my lips, and he drops his hand and turns from me quickly, hesitating as if he would stop himself at any second. I’m still standing there dumbstruck in front of the gates when he turns the corner and vanishes, my heart pounding an erratic rhythm in my chest.  
 _  
“Goodnight…”_


	21. Candy x Castiel 9

“You wanted to keep this casual,” I tease the red-head, trying and failing to hide the wicked grin on my lips. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were jealous.”  
  
Castiel leans back against the small sofa, his mouth turned down in a scowl. We’re in the backstage area of the Snake Room. His stormy eyes smoulder as he watches me pace leisurely around the room, knowing I’m having far too much fun baiting the temper I know is seething just beneath his skin.  
  
“I’m _not_ jealous,” his voice is dark, gravelly, rubbing my skin in all the right places.

“I just can’t stand the way he looks at you. Like you’re still his.”  
  
I turn my head to hide my grin. The sex is always best when he’s mad… hot and heavy, fast and fierce. It makes my head spin just thinking about it.  
  
“Pretty sure that’s a full-blown case of envy, Cas.”  
  
He glowers at me darkly and I feel my lips lift at the side. It’s always so satisfying, getting under his skin, making him burn with me. I almost forget to be careful… to not push him too far over the edge.  
  
“Don’t worry. The way those groupies fawn over you doesn’t exactly tickle me,” I drawl reluctantly, and I swear his eyes brighten.  
  
Give and take, that’s the key with him. It’s been a month since we’d started this thing between us, and already I know what turns him on, what breaks him down…  
  
Dozens of girls out in the club would’ve dreamed of this, are probably still dreaming of this, while they’re in the crowd crying his name.  
  
Biting down on my lip, I glance at him through cautious eyes. He’s on his feet now, stepping towards me like the big, bad wolf hunting his prey. I lean back against the wall, hands behind me. He looked _so fucking good_ up on that stage tonight, I couldn’t stand it, knowing I had to wait to have him.  
  
Every time we made eye contact, I felt ready to explode. When he sings, it does something strange to my body. It electrifies me, my body humming like a live wire, begging to be nothing but sparks in his hands. Though this is a casual thing, _friends with benefits_ you might call it, it makes me feel good to know that I’m the only one he’s fucking.  
  
The only one he can’t get enough of.  
  
Crowstorm are halfway through their set, but the waiting was too much, and after a while, I gave up trying to be patient. He doesn’t seem to mind. While the rest of the band are out the back, smoking and chatting, we’re holed up in the dressing room.  
  
 _Toying with each other._  
  
He rests a forearm on the wall above my head, his eyes raking over my face, and I’m forced to look up at him. He’s so much taller than me, even with my heels on. He leans closer, and his lips hover over mine, his breath warm on my skin.  
  
“Admit it. I fuck you better than Mr Student Body President ever did.”  
  
I bite down on my lip, hard. His deep voice is so sexy it hurts. Every muscle in my body aches for him to touch me, to tease me, _to take me_. For a while now I’ve wondered if this was more than just sex for him, if he might actually have feelings for me. The possession in his voice tonight confirms it.   
  
_Casual, my ass…_  
  
“Careful not to be cocky, Castiel,” I purr, sounding more confident than I feel.

My body is trembling and I’m sure he knows it. Running his tie through my hand, I clench my fingers and tug him closer. He sets his hands on the wall either side of me, his tattooed arms so close to my face I can feel his warmth on my skin.  
  
He already knows the answer, he’s just being stubborn. Sex with Castiel is wild and reckless, I’ve never had anything like it. And I never want anything else.  
  
His nose brushes against mine. _Slow, teasing_ … The deep bass of the club's interlude music pounds against the wall, through my body, only adding to the rush of excitement thrumming through me.  
  
His eyes narrow slightly, as if he’s assessing what to do with me. It would be too easy to just give in. The club is loud, I’m sure no-one would overhear… but he wants to play first, he always does.  
  
“Turn around,” he orders, his voice low and rough. I do so without complaint, my hands splayed on the wall in front of me and my ass rolling back against his hips.  
  
A growl tears from his throat and his hands are on me in an instant, one snaking under my shirt, pushing my bra above my chest and squeezing my breast tight. The other slips beneath my dress and grabs my ass, then sinks lower until his fingers are running over the slick spot on my panties. I bite down on my lip to stifle my gasp of pleasure, my clit throbbing so hard for him I can barely breathe.  
  
He pushes my hair aside, his lips on my shoulders, my neck, anywhere they can reach. A hand moves from my breasts to my throat, pulling me back against him as he slips his fingers down the front of my panties, pressing against me until I’m writhing and whimpering in his hands.  
  
I know how wet I am for him, I can feel it when he slips a finger inside me and I buck against his hand, desperate for more. His hand squeezes my throat gently, fingers moving to my mouth where I lick and suck them suggestively, hearing his low hum of approval against my ear.  
  
Turning my head, I catch his lips with my own. I can feel him against my backside, rock hard, and it takes everything I have not to lose my mind when he rubs my clit in circles, warming me from the inside out. He nips at my bottom lip between kisses and I moan against his mouth.  
  
 _It’s too much, I’m so close… I need him in me._  
  
He stops when I’m on the edge, and I hear the clank of his belt as he opens his jeans. Arching my back, I spread my legs for him, my hair falling to the side in a wave when I look back over my shoulder. He only winks as he rips my panties to the side, and the tip of him presses against me. _Teasing. Taunting._  
  
“Tell me I fuck you better,” he says in my ear, his breath hot enough to send shivers down my spine. I pout, and he chuckles darkly, the tip of his cock teasing my wet entrance so slowly it’s torture.  
  
“Castiel, _please_ …”

I’m begging now, my body screaming for him. I don’t care about this constant battle between him and Nathaniel. Nath is in the past now, my ex for a reason.  
  
I push back against him, desperate. He pulls away and tuts at me.  
  
“Not until you say it.”  
  
I let out an unhappy groan. I can’t play this game anymore. _I need him inside me._  
  
“You fuck me _so much better_.”  
  
He thrusts inside me with a growl on the back of my neck, and I shatter.  
  
Steadying myself with my hands against the wall, he doesn’t give me any time before pumping his entire length into me again, over and over, hard and fast. My body is alight, my blood coursing like fire in my veins. There is nothing I could want any more than this.  
  
“Oh, God…” I whimper, my head dipping because I’m shaking so hard. Castiel threads a hand tight through my hair, tugging sharply to balance his own erratic movements.  
  
He feels so goddamn good it takes all I have not to scream his name. My back is slick with my own sweat and I arch it more. His cock glides against a spot inside of me that makes my breath catch in my throat, his hands gripping my ass as he holds me tight in his fists and fucks me.  
  
The thought that someone could walk in at any time makes this even hotter, and suddenly my body is warm all over. His fingers dig into my waist hard enough to leave bruises, and I back up on him, chasing the orgasm I can feel building in my core. _It’s so close, so close…_  
  
He grabs my shoulder at the neck and pounds me so hard I can barely breathe, each exhale a ragged gasp of his name, the moans falling carelessly from my lips now. My skin is fire, my body is spent, as wave upon wave of pleasure hits me, making my toes curl and my breath catch in my throat.  
  
His voice is a dark growl, rough and uneven, his thrusts stuttering as he burrows his fingers in my hips and comes undone with me.  
  
We both shatter, every muscle in my body tensing and tightening as I ride out my high against him, grinding over his length as he pulses and spills out inside me. He jerks into me a couple more times, breathing hard, his forehead damp and bent against my shoulder as he finishes.   
  
I let out a breathy laugh against the wall, fighting to catch my breath as the relief washes over me, and Castiel peppers soft, short kisses over my feverish skin.  
  
A knock on the door startles me, followed by a muffled shout. “Cas! Time to hit the stage, man.”  
  
Groaning in annoyance, he pulls out from me, and I turn to look up at him from under dark lashes.

His face is flushed, his grin wicked enough to make me want to do that all again. I take a moment to adjust myself. I’ll need to use the bathroom backstage before heading back into the bar. Castiel does up his pants, looking around for his shirt. Once dressed he grabs me around the waist with an arm and pulls me against him, kissing me long and deep.  
  
“You’re mine, little girl. And I’ll make sure everyone knows it.”  
  
I try to hide the stupid grin I have on my lips, but fail miserably.  
  
 _Friends with benefits, indeed…_  
  
He’s all mine.


End file.
